At some point in every relationship, you end up having the “what is your favorite x?” conversation and go down books, movies, etc. I once went out with a girl and we were having this conversation when we got to music.

“Oh, I’m not really into music.” she muttered. I think I kind of sat there incredulous, when she backtracked a bit, saying something about listening to the local top 40 station when she is in the car.

We did not go on a second date. I later tried explaining this to friends without coming off as some Seinfeldian freak who is too picky (she’s got man hands!) And the best inarticulate reason I could come up with is that it shows a person is without passion if they don’t like music. But a friend wrote a post about how she has attached certain music to certain boyfriends and how important that is. It is spot on:

You see, music is an intensely personal, sustainable–free–gift that just keeps giving, for weeks or even years. I don’t want your jewelry. I’ll exclaim over it and toss it in a drawer. Nice dinners are delicious and then forgotten. But play me a beautiful song I’ve never heard and will never hear anywhere else and you have me.

Even if it doesn’t work out, you’ll know that years from now I’ll be thinking of you while I lay on the beach, get ready to go out, and maybe even with a wry smile while I cuddle with someone else on the couch. He doesn’t have to know.