I am always looking for methods and things I can endeavor in for self-improvement. I was listening to a podcast from the TWiT network called FrameRate. Its about digital media and the intersection of hollywood and new media distribution. If you are at all interested in the subject area I would fully endorse it for a listen.
They got a letter from a listener who brought up the age old subject of how to feel when something small and indie you like blows up and becomes super popular. This is mainly noticed by hipsters and indie music fans who feel like something is lost when small bands they follow get a bigger following and more attention.
But something else that they touched on struck me. Tom discusses how part of that feeling is how one tends to think you found something cool and special and sharing that secret with a few trusted, worthy friends. There is a rush you get with sharing this new discovery and that feeling that it is something just for you and your friends. You are above the masses and know something great that everyone else doesn’t.
I really related to this, but in a different way. I have incredibly low self-esteem. I am decidedly uncool. And, tragically at the same time I am not that bright or clever. (any success I can take credit for is based solely on my work ethic and my ability to buckle down and put in twice the effort and time, so I simply outwork my competition) So, I don’t fit in the with the cool kids nor the geeks.
Instead, I always have felt my value was in knowing something someone else didn’t. I would figure out that secret shortcut, or have some key information that someone else didn’t. Sharing that information gave me an in, or proved my value. This earned my keep for whatever group I ran in. However, the downside of this is that I often come dangerously close to being painted a know-it-all. I have to constantly keep myself in check to not stray too far into a smug spray of needless oneupmanship of facts and corrections.
You can listen to the full episode here: Frame Rate 109. The key part I am interested in is from 01:01:27 – 01:03:32